8 rants from an author on the edge of a second novel.

Coming up to the publication of my second novel there’s 8 things I’d like to rant about.

Rant 1

‘The Healer’ will launch on 22nd January and I can’t wait – but then I am dreading it too.

When I was doing promotion for my debut ‘The Abandoned’ I thought maybe it would be my one and only novel. I threw my heart, soul and kitchen sink into the promotion for it. Other than offering someone a kidney, I did everything I could do to shout about ‘The Abandoned’ on social media. I know some people bought it to shut me the hell up.

‘The Healer’ is out soon (22nd January) and I am doing similar things, yet people are asking me ‘where’s your book promotion?’ Now either, I have gone off the boil, or social media sites are playing with their algorithms or I’ve become shy.

I know that haven’t become shy and I promise I am trying to promote ‘The Healer’, but I wonder I am not throwing my all into it this time. Is it because this is my second novel and I know there will be reviews and constant glances at amazon rankings?

I am afraid. 

Then there is this weird, terrible-throbbing-impatience for it all to happen too. The book comes out on the 22nd and it’s only the f-ing 10th!!! Only the frigging 10th and I’ve already probably emailed the publisher’s publicist six times about when the pre-order will go up. I’m losing my mind waiting on ‘The Healer’ to be launched. Did I mention it’s coming out on the 22nd? (It’s miles away yet!)

Rant 2.

Reviews. Sweet divine! I am not good with reading or writing reviews. I love to read and tell people about the sensational books I’ve read – but I loath writing reviews. Reviews I write, feel like school reports. No matter what I say in them, I sound like ‘could do better.’ Even if I love a book and I attempt to gush about it, I sound like Donald Trump – everything is GREAT. Pathetic efforts fall from me around reviews, yet we are told reviews sell books. (Well, not the reviews I write mate.) This whole rant makes me respect reviewers and bloggers all the more. The work they do for free is marvellous for us authors and I do feel bad that I cannot be a better reviewer myself.

Reviews also petrify me. Truly, they make me weak with worry.

Rant 3.

Did I mention that I am impatient? I want my book to come out NOW. Like a child asking ‘are we nearly there yet?’ I am looking at the calendar again since I started this blog post and it is only the 10th Jan! How is that possible? When will the 22nd flipping get here?

Rant 4.

I DON’T want my book to come out! What have I done? My novel is coming out on the 22nd. For the love of Mick it can’t come out. It needs another edit, another 20 pairs of eyes to proof-read for what feels like the 50th time. It can’t be made into a book yet. I am not ready. It might not be ready? I can’t think of the reviews. Advance readers are reading my novel that will be in the world soon. WHAT HAVE I DONE? STOP the press. Literally stop it.

Rant 5

Publicity about the book – What else can I do? No-one could give one frig about me or this book now could they? Why will they buy my little novel? How can I portray how much I loved writing ‘The Healer’? How can I promote something which to me is hard to explain? Months of emotion, tears and work cannot be condensed into a blog post. I’ve tried – as you can see.

‘Write about your writing process someone suggests and the joy of publication.’ Okey-doke, I’ll try that… this is what has come out. :/

Rant 6.

Could I launch the book and tell everyone NOT to read it? Maybe that might be best? Yes, I have lost my marbles. This is what launching a book does to me.

Rant 7.

Launching an ebook with some paperbacks available in local shops is a weird one. This time I am doing an online launch where people click to join the launch and click perhaps twice to buy the book. That’s a good idea? Isn’t it? This will happen on …. you’ve guessed the date (the 22nd Jan). It is an online launch. Please come. As this is rant 7. NO-BODY will show up to my online book launch and I will be chatting to a social media queen @tweetinggoddess all by my wee self! But gosh what if people do turn up? What will I say? Will I put people off buying the book? What if it is a total embarrassing flop?

Let’s not make a fuss about this book at all. Tell nobody about it and ask everyone NOT to read it. Yes, that might be best. I’ll do that.

Link to online book launch for The Healer 22nd Jan. 8pm.

Rant 8.

What have I spent the last ages writing? I truly need my head examined. It’s just that I am afraid. The 22nd Jan will come and I want it too, but I don’t want it to either. Arghhhhhh

Please click on your invitation to join my online book launch… but then maybe don’t click on it either…

Link to online book launch for The Healer 22nd Jan. 8pm.